Once again, my plans failed. I did not manage to dedicate
the time to biblical studies as I had hoped to manage. Desire to spend time at
my computer, with my children, and with my husband prevailed. The first few
days I did manage to squeeze in time with my husband for studies and prayers,
but even in do so, I learned more about myself than with the actual studies. I
learned that I lack patience (this isn’t really news), but I was shocked by how
vehement my lack of patience was concerning his studies. Even as I type these
words I am frustrated by the repetition of questions that he asked nightly. If
I cannot help my husband with his understanding, how I am going to teach my
children? How am I going to answer questions others may pose? How could God
possibly be calling me to work with other people?
It sounds hokey, but the truth is that God does not call
the qualified. He qualifies the called. Moses stuttered and yet he was God’s
chosen to free the Hebrews from Egypt. Abraham lied and allowed Sarah to be
taken into the king’s home. Jacob stole Esau’s blessing. David sent Uriah to
his death so he could have Bathsheba. The bible is filled with stories of
sinners, liars, murderers whom God called to do his bidding. None, other than
Christ, was pure and God used them all. Paul was a zealot when it came to
murdering Christians and yet thirteen out of the twenty-seven books of the New
Testament are attributed to him.
This is a reminder that while I may fail at my personal
goals and desires, my will is not always that of God’s will and if and when my
time comes, God will be the one to do the work. The words will come from Him,
not me. The work to be done may be through me but the glory is His.
Heavenly Father, we are weak. We make so many promises
both to ourselves and to You, and we fail more often than we succeed. Remind us
that You are with us. That You give us purpose if we would only stop to listen
to you. In Christ’s name I pray, Amen.
